Photo: Gus's ashes. Ride is a book that has come about because an internal nagging wouldn’t go away. I tried to ignore the nagging and decide it was born from an impractical unachievable dream that was irrelevant in my new reality. It wouldn’t go away so - In the end I surrendered and ‘put aside’ 9 months in 2017 to write - just to see what happened. I had written short notes over the previous years – of key words, and sometimes I used them as starting points. Sometimes I sat at my computer and the words would just flow from my fingers.
Photo: Light coming through Dylans tree (24/4/2016)
When I was writing, the ‘working’ title for Ride was ‘Life after Suicide’ – meaning my life and Dylan’s life after his departure. It became pretty obvious that the word suicide wasn’t necessary in the title and that the writing was so much more than ‘just about suicide’.
I cannot even tell you when Ride became the title – it just seemed to arrive in my mind and when I considered it I could see the value of it and the multiple level meanings it had within it. Then when I started editing and saw the times I had used Ride in the writing the name became clear. It had always been Ride – I just hadn’t known it from the outset. In particular, the poem about the west coast (page 39 from memory) confirmed the ‘new’ name.
Dylan would often say to me ‘I’m going for a Ride mum’ and I would say, ‘where?’ – just so I knew where to look if he was late home. When he was younger it was his mountain or downhill bike he would be riding, then his scooter then one of four motocross/road bikes he owned. When I hear those words I smile and see him smile at the joy those Rides brought him.
As a word we often use Ride and we use it in so many ways. Ride is a very versatile multiple use highly adaptable word.
We can ‘go for a Ride’ – on a horse, a bike, a train, a bus, a car, a plane, a wave, a snow board…
We are able to Ride in multiple ways – fast/slow, controlled /out of control, mindfully /unconsciously. With skill and without.
Sometimes we can be ‘taken for a Ride’ if someone has lied or betrayed us or maybe if we make a wrong decision/ choice…
We can practice and improve our Ride. We can get ‘on or off’ our Ride.
Ride also ‘hides’ a hidden word…
Our Ride’s start at birth and end at death or so we think…
Truth for me is that our Rides never stop. They have side branches and detours. Routes we never saw coming; seemingly dead ends and full stops – but ultimately the Ride continues.
The more we embrace our Rides the more fun and joy and peace we can experience.